STUFF HAPPENS. THEN WHAT?
“I woke up this morning. And none of the news was good”.
It’s the first line from a song called “Jerusalem” by one of my favourite musicians, an American singer called Steve Earle.
You might sympathise with him right now.
But what to do in response to negative stuff like this? And not just in the news, but in our lives. Stuff happens around us all the time. What do we do with it?
Thanks to my friend Duncan, I’ve been reading a bit about the Stoic philosophers recently. These guys lived around 2000 years ago, and (who would have guessed?) have something helpful to say to the human condition today. It’s almost like humans have always behaved like humans.
What they say in response to stuff happening can be boiled down to three things:
1. Strive to be your best self all the time.
Tough. But it’s about knowing when this isn’t the case, and adjusting.
2. Focus on what you can control.
This is the key. How much mental anguish do we cause ourselves (and others) by dwelling on stuff we can’t control? Let it go.
3. Take responsibility and act.
Having worked out what we do control, also figure out what we can do about it. AND DO IT.
Simple no?
Well clearly not, humans being humans etc etc. But the beauty of the formula, as well as it’s memorable simplicity, is that if we can live by it not only do we feel better, but we learn to make a positive difference rather than dwelling on the negative.
Those of you familiar with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy might recognise the essence of the formula. Stuff happens and we react badly to it. If we can catch what we are doing, and replace the automatic response with something more constructive, all manner of more positive options open up.
Back to Steve Earle. The last line of “Jerusalem” goes like this:
“I believe that one fine day, all the children of Abraham will lay down their swords forever in Jerusalem”.
It’s a bold vision. Maybe you’re not trying to secure Middle East peace. But in your corner of the world, may you focus on making a difference and not let the bad stuff grind you down.
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