PLEASURE OR PURPOSE?
Each August my wife Liz and I help to prepare meals on a holiday in the South of England for young children. All told there are around 120 children and adults to cater for and the holiday lasts eight days.
That’s about 3000 meals. There’s about six of us in the catering team. Do the math. And oh! The washing up. I’m the Dining Room Manager. I knew you’d be impressed.
Falling into our beds around day three this year, it occurred to me that we were not only exhausted, but we weren’t enjoying it. We were not actually having fun.
Why do it then? We’re volunteers for goodness sake.
Answer: because there’s a bigger picture which keeps us going.
The holiday is a fun, loving and safe space where the kids get to mix with children from different backgrounds. Over time they build new friendships which often outlast the holiday. And for some of them it seems very probable that it’s the only holiday they get. For us, it feels like valuable work.
Switching gear (just a bit), Viktor Frankl, the Jewish Austrian psychiatrist (and concentration camp survivor) in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” develops his theory of human motivation.
In contrast to Freud’s theory that we are motivated to seek pleasure, Frankl argues (based on his experience) that we are motivated to seek meaning, and that comes from finding our purpose. We find meaning, says Frankl, when we commit ourselves to a cause greater than ourselves. His “logotherapy” is based on this principle.
So that’s what’s going on when we’re catering. It’s not about fun. It’s about having a purpose, and hence a sense of meaning. Which keeps us going back.
This need not be binary of course. There is clearly pleasure to be had in being part of a team that delivers not just meals, but the whole holiday. There’s an instinctive, often unspoken (no time!) team-work, but it’s held together by that sense of purpose.
I am fortunate to work with a lot of people whose work gives them a clear purpose but doesn’t always seem pleasurable. I think of these people as punching holes in the darkness. A darkness that is undoubtedly out there, but in which sparks are being created and ultimately fires lit.
So if you find yourself at the end of the day thinking “I didn’t enjoy that much”, I do hope you are able to reflect on the purpose you are serving and the difference you are making. And if so, to keep going. And maybe even to find the fun as well.
And if your life does feel like fun but actually rather meaningless right now, maybe time to look for a new purpose or two?
And as for me? Dining Room Manager? Strange where meaning can be found.
GOING DEEPER
We now offer a short video programme if you want to go deeper with the types of issue explored in these short stories.
