IS THAT GATE REALLY LOCKED?
We had just begun our walk-and-talk, my client and I, when we came to the gate leading into the park. The gate was locked, which was strange, since in the past that particular gate had always been unlocked when we came to it.
On the other side of the gate, there were other people already walking in the park. Clearly other entrances were open. It was just that our particular gate had not yet been unlocked. We were a bit early.
“Not to worry”, said I brazenly. “Let’s just hop over this low fence and carry on”.
“Oh no!” came the reply. “We can’t do that. We’ll have to go around the long way”.
Which we did.
Never one to let a good metaphor go to waste however, I returned to the locked gate later in our conversation.
It came down to this.
“When do we not do things because we see a locked gate, when in reality all we need to do is jump over the fence?”
In my client’s specific case, maybe the answer was “Well yes, it does happen”. Learning for her could well be about pushing the boundaries further with her stakeholders. About giving them chance to say “No” to her occasionally, rather than always giving a pretty instant “Yes. Obviously”.
About making the “ask” bigger.
It’s probably fruitful ground to think about where our attitude to locked gates and fences comes from.
I’ve been privileged on numerous occasions to manage those who’ve come from a military background. Marvellous to manage, since they always said “Yes Martin”. But hard to get them to challenge convention. Or to challenge me. A couple of pints of beer usually helped.
I’ve found the same when working with certain cultures over the years. Japanese colleagues would rarely challenge convention or authority during working hours, but after work it was a different story. Their park gates seemed to be unlocked around 630 in the evening…
Maybe parenting can have a role to play. If we perceived our boundaries in our younger days to be very rigid, and the punishment for crossing them very painful, maybe we’ve been conditioned to play it very safe now we’re a bit older.
The question of course is “what opportunities do we miss out on if we only see locked gates, and not fences to be jumped over?”.
My client and I, we just walked around to another entrance (which would be another metaphor!).
But are you missing out on income possibilities, on recruitment options, or even on personal advancement simply because you’re scared to ask the question?
Maybe what you’re facing is a fence, and not a locked gate.
Try jumping over it. You never know what might happen.
FANCY A SLIGHTLY LONGER READ?
Maybe try one or more of the books
